Stehekin, Washington

Ever feel like your life's a soap opera?

Lists are Easier to Write Than Prose

These are a Few of My Favorite Things

with apologies to The Sound of Music

1. The smell of winter.

2.  Being asked what I want for my birthday and realizing that I have everything I need. 

3.  Having a loose tooth.  Haven't had one in a while, though.

4.  Arriving in a new place and not knowing my way around and then figuring it out and then being comfortable.  It's the feeling of discovery.

5.  Getting a higher score on an LSAT practice test.

6.  Coming home for the first time in a couple of weeks.

7.  The smell in the Brookdale elevators.  It's not a particularly amazing smell, but I feel like a freshman every time I smell it.

8.  The Museum of Arts and Design.  I just found MAD, and it's really cool.  In just an hour, you can visit all six floors of the museum's galleries.  Thursday nights are free.  It's located at Columbus Circle.

9.  Doing logic homework.  I'm not very good at it, but it's really fun.  

10.  My family.  Spending Shabbos with friends' families helps me realize how wonderful my family is and how non-dysfunctional we actually are. 

Bad Habits

I have lots of bad habits, but one of my very worst may be staying up all night reading.  Last Thursday night, I indulged in this particular weakness of mine while reading Chaim Grade's masterpiece, The Yeshiva.  The book is a 700-odd page autobiographical account of the author's years in the Novardok yeshiva.  

There is so much to love about The Yeshiva.  For one, Grade's descriptions of pre-war Vilna.  He transports you back to a time that feels not much unlike our own.  The characters have problems very much the same as ours, and the community grapples with issues that we still deal with today, i.e. learning secular subjects and to what extent.   

Unique to that time, though, was the popularity and prevalence of the Novardok brand of mussar.  Grade illustrates life in Novardok, leaving the reader to come to his or her own conclusions.   Even more interesting to me, though, is Chaikl's, Grade's younger self, relationship with the Chazon Ish.  In his late teens and early twenties, Grade was a close student of the Chazon Ish.  His description of the Chazon Ish's middos and bein adam l'chaveiro is awe-inspiring.  Whether or not one identifies with the Chareidi legacy of the Chazon Ish, one can appreciate his humanity and character.

This book was definitely worth my 5 A.M. bedtime.

Something I Want to Remember

I love the feeling I get after a Yachad shabbaton: the high from the singing and dancing, the inspiration.  Before this weekend, I was always involved in Yachad, because I enjoyed it.  Being involved in Yachad never seemed like chesed to me, but rather it was just a fun way to spend my time.

But this Friday, I wasn't feeling well and didn't want to come on this week's shabbaton.  I guess that's why I realized, for the first time, that helping Yachad members is chesed.  I was soon reminded, though, that doing chesed is not a one-way relationship.

Late Friday afternoon before going to shul, as I bundled my Yachad member into her winter coat, she put two challah rolls in her pockets.  As far as I was told, she didn't have any allergies, so I couldn't understand why she was bringing with her own food; since she isn't verbal, she couldn't explain it to me either.  At shul, another Yachad member filled me in: they bake their own challah every week at day hab.  After washing for bread and making hamotzi on the shul's challah rolls, I was surprised when my Yachad member put a piece of her challah roll in my hand and then cut pieces of her special challah for everyone at the table.  

It's simple, profound moments like this one that remind me that I'm really not the one who is doing chesed, who is helping the other.  I learn and gain so much from the "beneficiaries" of my chesed.

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Letting your Fingers Roam the Keyboard

One thing I've noticed recently is that there are two main themes that I like to write about: Diet Dr. Pepper and personal change. Putting aside my favorite caffeinated beverage for the time being, I'm realizing that personal change is a big issue in my life now. Considering that I'm in college, it's probably a good thing that I'm experiencing change. I don't want to be my 16 year-old self when I'm middle-aged. For that matter, I don't want to be my 16 year-old self now, either. My friends and I talk a good deal about how we've changed over the past couple of years, and I have to say that, thank G-d, I'm mostly very happy with how I've grown.

Part of what is prompting this post is a discussion that I had earlier this evening with a friend about the merits of raising your kids in a Bais Yaakov or Modern Orthodox environment. (What can I say, we think long-term.) I realized afterwards that there are advantages and disadvantages to each system and that the two worlds are not mutually exclusive of each other. Another thing that I realized (and that I've realized before, but I need to continue working on) is that although I consider myself pretty liberal and accepting of other people's choices and ideologies, I'm actually more accepting of people who are less "frum" (hashkafically) than I am than I am accepting of those who seem more "frum" than me. I need to work on this!

Another thing that I realize is that this post has turned out to be me very different than what I expected. I thought I would be writing about shidduchim. I guess not.