I have a tendency to forget things. Things like my lunch (hence the Post-It note stuck to a kitchen cabinet begging me to take my lunch from the fridge), locking up at night, directions (apparently North Ave is south of Belmont. Whoops.) But I forget more important things too. Like the factors that motivated me to choose to attend a specific seminary versus a different one--I'm really not sure of why/how I made that particular decision. Or why I used to be convinced that women should not learn Torah Sheh'bi'al Peh--ever since actually learning Torah Sheh'bi'al Peh and appreciating it, it's been hard for me to remember well the arguments against the practice, arguments that used to have me convinced.
A couple of months ago, while perusing Joan Didion's Slouching Towards Bethlehem, I read an essay on the topic of remembering. In her essay entitled "On Keeping a Notebook," she makes a subtle distinction between keeping a notebook and writing in a journal or diary, a distinction which I'm still kind of hazy on. But the basic point she makes is that her experience of writing in a notebook allows her to revisit her younger self, a person who she regards as separate from her present self; in fact, she imagines that her notebook is "about other people" entirely (Didion 135). Recording fact--describing her actions or thoughts at a particular time--is "an instinct for reality which I sometimes envy but do not possess" (133). Her main goal is to "Remember what is was to be me" (136).
Blogging is kind of like keeping a notebook. Years from now, I hope I can look back on this blog and get a feel for who I was back then, back now. A feel for the liberal, slightly cynical, very hopeful, religious person I am now. I could just keep a notebook, like Didion and like everyone else who kept a notebook before the blogosphere was discovered and like everyone who still keeps a notebook after its advent, but blogging adds another dimension to the experience.
Here's my first conscious attempt on my blog to make sure I remember something: I'm recording my current suspicions regarding Harry Potter Book #7 so that in a week or so from now when I finally learn what happens, I'll know whether I correctly suspected the ending all along. This may seem silly, but hindsight bias is a power to be reckoned with :)
My predictions:
1. Harry will survive the book.
2. Snape is evil.
3. Either Ron, Hermione, or Ginny will die.
4. If, for some reason, Harry does die, his death will be due to his being one of Voldemort's horcruxes, which would make his death necessary to ensure Voldemort's death as well, i.e. Harry is a martyr.
Readers, if you exist, feel free to share your predictions, but if you wish to comment after 7/21/07, please do not post any spoilers.
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4 comments:
I can remind you why you chose that certain seminary :-).
Okay, that was a joke. (although if you want me to, I can help!)
Since I'm not really a Harry Potter fan (sorry, everyone--please don't throw stones @ me, thanx :-)), I can appreciate the first part of your post more than the second.
You're right about remembering. It happens to everyone, to some extent. Like you said, hindsight bias is a power to be reckoned with. Remember, though, that as you grow older and your mind encounters new experiences, you will never quite be the same person you once were. In some cases, that may only make a minor difference (for example, clothing that you would wear in ninth grade but wouldn't be caught dead in today). In some cases, like the Torah she'bealpeh example, the difference is more noticeable.
It happens to be, by the way, I don't know if I mentioned this to you or not, the seminary that you are going to is mostly not going to endorse the learning of Torah she'bealpeh. I think you knew that, actually. In any case, I will tell you that some teachers (the principal in particular) are more open to the idea than others, and there will be some who will be vehemently against it. I'm sure you knew that, but I'm just reiterating this so that you know that you have the option to choose which opinion to go by. Hatzlacha!
Hello DDP! Welcome to the blogosphere--we're very happy to have you!
As a ginormous fan of that Didion essay, I will posit that what you are doing on this blog is not really the same as what she does in her notebook. The point of the notebook, as you mention, is to write not about herself, but about others. I keep a similar notebook, and in it I record things I observe: a conversation overheard on the subway, an interesting place I pass on the street, etc. Though ostensibly writing these things has nothing to do with myself, when I look back and read them, I remember the way I felt when I wrote them--what the overheard conversation made me think of, what the place made me feel. In that way, it keeps me in touch with myself. A journal (or blog) records things directly about yourself, like a shloshim you went to or your Harry Potter predictions. So there's the distinction. Anyway, whatever you term it, I am eagerly looking forward to reading about your experiences and observations in the future!
Hey Rebecca,
Lol. Thanks for the offer; I'm pretty sure that I made the right decision, though. I am aware of the school's general Torah Sheh'bi'al Peh stance, and I'm fine with it. Thanks for your concern.
Hey SJ,
Thanks for your welcome/comment. I definitely agree that there are differences (some of which you mentioned) between Didion's practice of keeping a notebook and my blogging, but my (long-term) goal is pretty much the same as hers--to have a record that I can look back on in order to reacquaint myself with who I once was. Also, I think that a blog can serve different purposes for different people. So perhaps my blog--and I'm sure many other people's--can more closely mirror Didion's notebook prototype.
In any case, SJ, it's really great to be able to continue the F/F discussion.
As you get farther and farther away from original arguments, it does become harder to remember why you believed them to begin with. That's why it is a great idea to keep a journal/diary/blog, so that you can remember your thoughts at the time they are most clear and strong (sadly, I was always terrible at this, but I hope that my blog won't die). I did keep a journal for a short amount of time - when I was in seminary and dealing with a particularly personal issue. I went back and read what I had written recently - I don't feel 100% the same but it's pretty close. Also, I laughed a little at how easily I soaked up what my seminary was telling me. I'm a little smarter since.
Anyway, kol hakavod for acknoledging your confusion (stating the problem is the 1st step towards recovery) and have fun with the blog.
Now, serious stuff aside: I am so, so so sososososososososo nervous to read the last Harry Potter. I am actually dreading coming to the end of it. It better be good. And if anyone tells me any spoilers, I WILL hurt you (sorry). You'll have to ask me for mechila if you ruin it for me, because that would be very very very sad.
Just saying. ;)
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